There have been many unnecessary and questionable undertakings on WWE programming over the years. Whether it be birthed hands, “Stand Back,” Boogeyman eating moles, Katie Vick, or Big Dick Johnson, you can always count on the WWE to bring you a weekly dose of weird and wonderful (though most often just weird.) Thankfully, many of these instances of the bizarre are being erased from the Peacock-moderated WWE Network. Unfortunately, however, we have seen a couple of new additions to the ever-growing list of “Things That Should Not Happen On My Wrestling” in recent weeks. The Human Train and “Riddle and the Technicolor Dream Bird” have both arrived on RAW and we need to address this.
Braun Strowman is a Train (Not A-Train)
Exhibit A. On the March 22 edition of Monday Night RAW, Braun Strowman dominated Elias. Strowman is a legitimate athlete, close to seven feet tall with a look and physique resembling Kratos. He is a superstar who – just one year ago – vanquished Goldberg for the WWE Universal Championship at WrestleMania. After years of falling short at the final hurdle, Strowman was finally a major champion. He also received a 141-day reign as champion (technically it stands at 150 or 151 because WrestleMania was taped in 2020). Thus, he received a respectable enough run with the title.
Though the reign was overshadowed by Drew McIntyre‘s, at least Strowman finally felt like the star he was supposed to be. Fast-forward one year and Braun is feuding with Shane McMahon, which is not necessarily a bad thing. However, in this feud, he has gained the ability to summon steam locomotive sound effects by simply motioning his arm as though he is pulling a chord. Ironically, the pulling motion is the opposite of a push. The decision to add this sound effect to Strowman’s move-set is, quite possibly, one of the weirder on-air decisions the WWE has made in recent months and it needs to end. Next, let’s look at Exhibit B.
Matt Riddle is Now Bringing the Birds and the Knees to RAW
Moving on from train sound effects, we arrive at CGI bird visuals. Matt Riddle – the former UFC prospect who holds high school wrestling victories over UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones – has become a scooter-obsessed parody of a teenage stoner. Just last week on RAW, he had a backstage promo with RAW Women’s Champion, Asuka. The bizarre promo saw Riddle, who had been questioning Asuka about Japan’s relationships with scooters for some reason, forget his lines, laugh, and walk off. A few wrestling personalities, such as Jim Cornette, cited that Riddle was “disrespectful” to walk away from a promo live on air. This might be true, but when you are fed lines such as “do you think scooters are big in Japan?” whilst waving a scooter around and trying to maintain a reputation as one of the top shoot-fighters on the brand and the current United States Champion, Riddle’s reaction was understandable. Then came the birds.
TWEET TWEET!#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/YMwVixU3UD
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 6, 2021
During Riddle’s entrance, where he typically kicks off his flip-flops, a bunch of poorly animated, technicolor CGI birds appeared to fly out from behind him. Do the birds symbolize Riddle “being as high as the birds?” Do they symbolize Riddle being a notorious and sometimes problematic Tweeter? Or is this just where the WWE is investing its Saudi money? We don’t know. Whether it be a shameless attempt to cater the WWE product to children or not, it does not work. Children who choose to watch wrestling do not do so for things like this. It might be the in-thing for Vince McMahon or someone backstage to insert these comical and, frankly, cheap effects into the show, but it does not have the desired effect. Unless the desired effect is for McMahon and the entire audience to laugh at the childish, almost Nickelodeon absurdity that encompasses our screens weekly.
It Needs to Stop
In all seriousness, the use of graphics in this way does little for the product; it diminishes the legitimacy of both the show and of Riddle. Similarly to Strowman, who certainly does not require added-in train sound effects from the 1800s to make him look like any more of a juggernaut than he already is. Ratings are down on WWE programming, especially on RAW – which now regularly occupies around 1.7 million viewers. This is a traditionally bad score for RAW anyway but considering the most recent 1.7 million rating was on the go-home show ahead of WrestleMania 37, this is terrible and reflects some of the poor decision-making going into these shows. The talent available in the WWE right now is tremendous. In terms of wrestling ability, it is arguably the most talented in history. So let them get over without turning them into Train Man and Robin.
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